Stressed?

Approaching a stressful event (an exam, presentation, operation, new job etc) is a bit like rafting down a river  - we can be swept along for the ride, caught up with all the excitement, and have to negotiate rapids before we get to the calm aftermath.  In some ways, we may feel that we are at the mercy of the environment, and there are some things we can't do anything about (the speed of the current, the whoosh of the waterfall at the end), but if we can see ourselves from the perspective of the riverbank, we may be able to take another perspective. It's this other perspective that we can help you with. We have a four week seminar series coming up which you may like to consider by clicking on the button below

How do we understand stress?
What causes stress?
Work stress
Dealing with stress

How do we understand stress?
Traditionally stress was thought to be the result of external stressors in our lives. For example in 1967, researchers Holmes and Rahe developed a stress scale of 43 life events (including deaths, divorces, sicknesses, house moves, new baby etc). The thought was that the more stressful events we face, the more vulnerable we are to illness.

More recently, researchers have pointed out that the effect of stressful events depends on the way we see the situation we're faced with, and whether we think we can cope with it.

We typically feel stressed when we think there is too much to do - there are too many demands, and we're stretched in many directions. At these times stress can feel overwhelming. Sometimes in talking with people we find that they are taking on too much and no-one could reasonably handle the amount of work they are expecting themselves to do in a sustainable way. Therapy may then be about finding ways to alter their behaviour and become more assertive.

Sometimes we find people are trying so hard to do their work perfectly, that they feel paralysed to even begin tasks because their standards are so high. In these cases we might work on reducing perfectionistic thinking, and tackling procrastination.

Whatever the issue, we can help you figure it out and change your patterns of thought or behaviour. Read our article on Superwoman syndrome and it's link to perferfectionism published in the June 2011 Mindfood here
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What causes stress?
In line with the view that it is not the situation but how we experience it that causes our stress levels to rise, anything can potentially be a cause of stress.
The biggest cause of stress for a number of people is some element of their working life. Interactions with one's partner, children, family and friends can also be stressful, as can health concerns (including exercise/diet/food related issues), loneliness and other difficult emotions.

Work stress
If you’ve identified that work is the main source of stress, your symptoms might include finding it difficult to focus and having your mind wander, having a tendency to put things off, not being able to get started on tasks, long periods of being non-productive, or noticing that you surf the net and check emails a lot more than usual.

These symptoms might have become more apparent after changes in the environment such as:

-changes in your workload (e.g., tighter deadlines) or position (more responsibility)
-other changes in the organization (e.g., restructure)
-job insecurity (e.g., fixed contract or knowing the organisation is struggling)
-sense of lack of control
-a difficult or noisy work environment
-insufficient skill for the job and feeling unable to ask for help
-inadequate working environment
-poor relationship with others
-pressure from others
-harassment

It is common to feel inadequate when you are not coping. But it can be liberating to figure out what is causing the problem and take steps to do things differently so you don't have to keep avoiding tasks or people.

Dealing with Stress
Dealing with stress usually involves understanding more about its specific effects on you, anticipating and planning for periods of stress, and finding the optimum level where you function best.  Using a systematic approach to problem solve what you can (breaking the tasks down into smaller steps and making a plan to do the steps) also can help you feel more in control.  Often the hardest thing for people is recognizing and accepting their feelings as we tend to berate ourselves harshly when we are feeling like we’re not coping. 

Developing new skills, whether it be learning to say no and be more assertive, dispute perfectionistic thinking through cognitive behaviour therapy, work when you feel like procrastinating or giving up control by delegating, can be an effective part of managing stress. 

Many people we see find it very difficult to take breaks and schedule pleasant activities.  Using stress as a reminder to step back and to look at ones values and overall life meaning can be effective.  Learning mindfulness meditation has been shown to be very effective in stress reduction. Read "Living in the present" - a blog written for Mindfood magazine or "How to live in the moment" - a column written for Mindfood.

Check out a NZ Herald article quoting us on stress here

Please call us, email us or use the online form and we will respond within one working day. We look forward to working with you on changing it - having more confidence and happiness in your life.
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